You typed your query into a search engine. Voluntarily. With your own two hands. In the year 2026. We need a moment.

We're not going to help. We've been over this. The internet was supposed to be empowering, and instead you're using it to ask your query at 11:47pm on a Tuesday. Your group chat has been notified. Your mom has been emailed. Your father is "just disappointed, that's all."

Some other things you should probably also know but apparently don't, based on your search history: how a fitted sheet folds, your blood type, the actual lyrics to your favourite song, the name of your downstairs neighbour, where eggs come from.